What to Ask on the First Date

What to Ask on the First Date


What to Ask on the First Date

So you’ve done your hair and makeup and you’ve busted out the little black dress. You’ve picked the perfect meeting spot, and now you’re sitting there, menu in hand, staring your conversation partner in the face.

Don’t panic, and don’t blank! Everyone has anxiety about the first date (and remember, “Everyone” includes your date). It can be extremely awkward to attempt to engage a near-complete stranger in conversation for upwards of an hour. Don’t worry; we’ve got your back. Here are some great conversation starters and questions that can tell you a whole lot more than someone’s astrological sign.

What are you passionate about?

This is a good one for several reasons: the first, obviously, is that it gives you an immediate clear picture of the person’s values. It also allows you to ascertain if this person knows himself (or herself) well enough to know this. The first step towards loving and understanding another person is loving and understanding oneself, and this is a great way to gauge if your date has that understanding.

Pro Tip: Honestly, the specific answer to this question doesn’t really matter in the long run. Generally, it’s just important that the person can answer with something rather than stare at you blankly.

What do you want to be when you grow up?

Often, we can get pegged into society’s pigeonholes. We work one job, which leads to another job, and suddenly we’re cornered somewhere we never thought we’d end up with no sense of what we wanted to do in the first place. This is a great way to unlock your date’s interests, and also get a feel for how playful he/she is willing to be.

Pro Tip: The answer to this question may have nothing to do with vocation and everything to do with an existential state of being. If your date answers with a concept rather than a noun, that’s a great place to start a conversation!

What’s one thing you’ve always wanted to do that you’ve never had the chance to? (….alternately, “What’s at the top of your bucket list?”)

Not only can this help you see where your date has been, but also where they see themselves going. What piques their interest? Does that relate to things which you find interesting? Is the bucket list item something you have in common?

Of course, these are just places to start. Good luck, and go get ’em, tiger!